


Three Conversations Donna Vorrutyer Had About Bisexuality

by a_t_rain



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Exactly What It Says on the Tin, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 10:26:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5287115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_t_rain/pseuds/a_t_rain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <strong>Prompt:</strong>
</p>
<p>Anything about his transition or sexuality. Has he always been bisexual? etc.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Three Conversations Donna Vorrutyer Had About Bisexuality

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Bujold_Ficathon_2015](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Bujold_Ficathon_2015) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Anything about his transition or sexuality. Has he always been bisexual? etc.

“Really?”

“Really. I mean, I’ve never put it into practice. But I’ve known since I was twelve or so.”

“Huh. That’s ... pretty interesting. If you ever _do_ decide to put it into practice, can I watch?”

“By all means, dear boy. As long as _I_ can watch if _you_ ever decide to experiment with men. In case you’re looking for a partner in crime, I do believe my cousin might not object.”

“I did _not_ need to know that – and _obviously_ , that isn’t the same – you’re just doing one of those reverse-the-genders _thought experiments_ you like to do...”

“ _Why_ isn’t it the same, pray tell? Because women and their desires exist to be playthings for men, but it doesn’t work the other way around? Or because you, personally, are not interested in it, so it doesn’t exist?”

“No! Because – because women aren’t interested in seeing that sort of thing!”

“Says who?”

“Says everyone.”

“Would this be _everyone_ -everyone? Or just the male kind of everyone? Or I’ve-asked-two-people-and-I’m-taking-that-as-a-reasonable-sample-of-everyone?”

“Well, obviously I haven’t asked _everyone_ -everyone. But it stands to reason.”

“Why? Because women are pure and innocent and don’t ever think about that sort of thing?”

“No. Because it’s gross.”

“Right, so that would be male-everyone. Or, to be more precise, heterosexual-male-everyone. How pleasant it must be to know your desires and opinions are universal. I’ve often thought it would be very relaxing.”

“Honest-to-God-I- _don’t_ -know why you keep putting the worst possible spin on everything I say. Or why I put up with it.”

“Well, darling, you _do_ make yourself rather a sitting target, sometimes ... Also, you’re cute when you get flustered, and you’re _awfully_ easy to fluster...”

“I’m not _easy to fluster_ , it’s just that this conversation is _bizarre_. Are you seriously arguing there are _girls_ who would be interested in watching _me and your cousin_ get it on?”

“Oh, my dear, innocent young lieutenant. You have _so_ much to learn.”

“Huh. ... Teach me?”

“Gladly.”

* * *

“Come now, you’ve been so _serious_ ever since you took over managing the district. What you need, my dear, is a frivolous and inconsequential love affair.”

“Did you have anyone in particular in mind?”

“How about Helga Vormuir? You obviously get along with her, and I suspect she may not be averse. Word on the street is that she and the Count have an ... arrangement.”

“No.”

“You’ve never actually been with a woman, have you?”

“No.”

“You know ... you were the one who _explained_ it to me. The only person in the family who talked about it openly. You told me never to be ashamed. Or afraid.”

“I stand by that.”

“Then why not try taking your own advice, hmm?”

“Because I am not ashamed or afraid. What I am doing is _thinking in terms of long-range strategy_ , which is something that you, dear coz, have never been much good at. Which is why I always beat you at chess.”

“I don’t like chess. There are too many _rules_ , and none of them even make sense. ‘If you’re wearing a pointy hat, you can only go to diagonal places.’ What kind of rule is that?”

“Now you’re just being silly.”

“And _you_ are being _unreasonably enigmatical_ , which is annoying. Besides, I made you smile, and you’ve not done that in ages. That ought to be worth something.”

“All right. I’ll give you a small hint. Have you ever known me to do anything that would be terribly scandalous if a _man_ did it?”

“Well, technically speaking, I don’t think having an affair with Helga Vormuir _would_ be terribly scandalous if a man did it. At least not on the man’s side.”

“You know what I mean. Anyway, unless you’re volunteering to be the next Count Vorrutyer yourself –”

“ _Perish_ the thought.”

“– _Someone_ will have to do it. Someone decent. So trust me when I say I know what I’m doing.”

“Ah. So in other words, you’re trying not to do anything that might jeopardize your chances of meeting husband number four, and giving Pierre a proper heir?”

“Something along those lines. But I promise you, when I meet the right girl ... it will happen. And it will be _spectacularly_ public.”

“Ooh. _Scandal._ I shall look forward to it.”

“Do. I think it might even exceed your expectations.”

* * *

“We’ve got an hour to kill before my next appointment. I thought we might have a look in the earring shop.”

“As you wish ... I wonder what young Theophilos would make of this?”

“Poor Armsman Theophilos! He seems to think the Betan girls are going to eat him alive.”

“Remember, we are not armsmen at the moment.”

“Right, thanks, I keep forgetting ... Look at this chart, I didn’t know there would be _that_ many styles. They’re remarkably _specific_ , don’t you think?”

“Yes. It seems a very logical system.”

“You say that as if it’s a _bad_ thing.”

“Eliminating ambiguity is not always a good idea, in my experience.”

“No, I guess not. Neither is eliminating _mystery_ , I think – at least when it comes to romance ... Look at this one, _married but not happily, looking for a short-term fling but prepared to take full responsibility for all long-term consequences_. Can you imagine going around _wearing all that in your ears?_ ”

“No, m’lady.”

“You only call me ‘m’lady’ when I’m being _impertinent_. What have I said _this_ time? ... _Oh_. That style would be _yours_ , wouldn’t it, if you were going to buy some.”

“M’lady.”

“Right. Sorry, I hadn’t realized ... I wonder if you will say ‘m’lord’ in the same tone, after next week. I don’t think, somehow, that ‘m’lord’ will lend itself quite as well to _scolding_ people ... Oh, look at _this_ one! _Bisexual and looking for something more serious than my previous career would suggest._ And they’ve got them in stock ... How do I look? I think they’re very _me_.”

“They are. You look ... very right in them. But you cannot wear them in public.”

“No. Never on Barrayar. And I suppose not here, either – I can’t very well come home with a _Betan_ Countess, let along a Betan _Count_ , so announcing that I’m looking for something serious would be false pretenses ... It’s a shame, isn’t it? Because I really do _like_ them.”

“Can I help you, madam?”

“Yes. I’ll take these, please.”

“That will be seventy-nine dollars. Off-worlder, are you? Keep the receipt, you can get the sales tax back if you turn it in at the shuttleport.”

“M’lady –”

“What? Don’t we know anyone who deserves a nice souvenir from Beta, and who doesn’t mind being as shocking as possible in public?”

“Ah. But are you, er, sure _that_ is your cousin’s style?”

“Funnily enough ... I think it might be.”


End file.
